This topic contains 67 replies, has 25 voices, and was last updated by 
Claude45 8 months, 1 week ago.
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Jordan Matthews: Not a needle mover.
He’s no Clay Matthews.
Nothing will be saved. All will be lost. And our new onion-headed sad emoticon is unable to convey the depth of that loss. -10/22/25 (sic) Daily Thread
I’m pretty sure Artie Lange is all those things too so when does he get an Ivy League commencement gig?
Someone tell Ironhead I’m feeling generous with the Photoshop stuff this week…
Someone tell Ironhead I’m feeling generous with the Photoshop stuff this week…
what a bunch of cry babies. Maybe ownership should have a vote confidence contest for themselves.
Someone tell Ironhead I’m feeling generous with the Photoshop stuff this week…
Fucking perfect. Thanks SO VERY MUCH.
Ironhead wrote: Fucking perfect. Thanks SO VERY MUCH.No problem.
This shit doesn’t take me long, so anyone else is free to hit me up if the mood strikes…
I can’t imagine paying however much in tuition to Dartmouth and that’s what you land for a commencement speaker. They might as well stack all of the diplomas handed out that day so she can piss on them, then have a big bonfire for the parents where they can watch their tuition money burn.
My commencement speaker was Bill Safire. Like or dislike him, you can’t say the guy had no gravitas. Imagine having to tell people years from now that your CS was Mindy (WTF) Kaling? How embarrassing. I’d rather just lie and say I missed graduation because I had the shingles.
We had Bill Cosby.
Ironhead wrote: Fucking perfect. Thanks SO VERY MUCH.No problem. This shit doesn’t take me long, so anyone else is free to hit me up if the mood strikes…
I have some BSJ suggestions…
I can’t imagine paying however much in tuition to Dartmouth and that’s what you land for a commencement speaker. They might as well stack all of the diplomas handed out that day so she can piss on them, then have a big bonfire for the parents where they can watch their tuition money burn.
My commencement speaker was Bill Safire. Like or dislike him, you can’t say the guy had no gravitas. Imagine having to tell people years from now that your CS was Mindy (WTF) Kaling? How embarrassing. I’d rather just lie and say I missed graduation because I had the shingles.
We had Bill Cosby. 🙁
I imagine he was a good & entertaining speaker. How the mighty have fallen.
Hey, has Fatty ever had the honor, even at a podunk place? “I once had a waiter who…be better than that, graduates.”
I can’t imagine paying however much in tuition to Dartmouth and that’s what you land for a commencement speaker. They might as well stack all of the diplomas handed out that day so she can piss on them, then have a big bonfire for the parents where they can watch their tuition money burn.
My commencement speaker was Bill Safire. Like or dislike him, you can’t say the guy had no gravitas. Imagine having to tell people years from now that your CS was Mindy (WTF) Kaling? How embarrassing. I’d rather just lie and say I missed graduation because I had the shingles.
We had Bill Cosby. 🙁
I imagine he was a good & entertaining speaker. How the mighty have fallen.
Hey, has Fatty ever had the honor, even at a podunk place? “I once had a waiter who…be better than that, graduates.” I have no recollection of my college commencement speaker, had to look it up. Want to guess why?
Frank Neil Newman is an American banker who served as Under Secretary of the Treasury for Domestic Finance from 1993 to 1994 and as United States Deputy Secretary of the Treasury from 1994 to 1995.
At least those Dartmouth kids will have shot at remembering who spoke at their graduation.
Upon more digging the speaker may have been this Frank Newman.
Frank J. Newman (February 24, 1927 – May 29, 2004) was a US education reformer and administrator who produced the Newman Reports, two ground-breaking reports on higher education in the United States that were published in 1971 and 1974. He served as the eighth President of the University of Rhode Island (1974–1983).
Just as bad I guess.
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This reply was modified 8 months, 1 week ago by
Laszlo Panaflex.
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This reply was modified 8 months, 1 week ago by Laszlo Panaflex.
My speaker was an oceanographer. It was like 90 degrees out, and I was brutally hungover. When she started “..to understand today’s oceans, we need to go back millions of years..” and my response was
Frank Bellotti. The Antonio Cromartie of Massachusetts Attorney Generals. He has 12 kids. Who knew he’s still alive, he’s 94.
It was hot and wet, just a miserable day. I was one course shy of graduating, the school let me walk anyway. My parents didn’t want anyone to know their oldest child failed art history her last semester, so they made me walk to save face. Took me two years to take the last course.
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This reply was modified 8 months, 1 week ago by
Florida Sox Fan.
I don’t remember the name of the person who spoke at my graduation. It was the “Year of the Woman” at the university that year so, fittingly, we had a female speaker. The downside was that it wasn’t someone famous, it was a faculty member of the school. I don’t think she was notable or an award winner in her field, either. It just had a “Donna, Are you busy on Saturday? Do you mind giving a speech?” feel to it.
That PK speech that Chico posted
This was from his intro and didn’t appear in his address to the graduates:
“Thank you, Dr. King,” OU president Rod McDavis said to me when it was over. He’d given me an honorary doctorate of communications degree, and I immediately took out my stethoscope and examined his head. Dr. King? That’s for Martin Luther, not Peter.
He includes this little slice of humility early on:
For the past 19 years, I’ve written about the NFL for Sports Illustrated, the largest sports magazine in the world. For the last 11, I’ve written a column for SI.com, Monday Morning Quarterback, that 2 million people click on, usually when they want to play hooky from work or school. I talk to millions Sunday nights during the fall on NBC. But preparing a commencement speech is far more harrowing than writing for, or talking to, millions of people I can’t see.
He even subjects people to a Brett Favre story.
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This reply was modified 8 months, 1 week ago by
Coma.
I can’t imagine paying however much in tuition to Dartmouth and that’s what you land for a commencement speaker. They might as well stack all of the diplomas handed out that day so she can piss on them, then have a big bonfire for the parents where they can watch their tuition money burn.
My commencement speaker was Bill Safire. Like or dislike him, you can’t say the guy had no gravitas. Imagine having to tell people years from now that your CS was Mindy (WTF) Kaling? How embarrassing. I’d rather just lie and say I missed graduation because I had the shingles.
We had Bill Cosby. 🙁
I imagine he was a good & entertaining speaker. How the mighty have fallen.
Hey, has Fatty ever had the honor, even at a podunk place? “I once had a waiter who…be better than that, graduates.” I had an internship with the Associated Press in The Netherlands the fall after I graduated, and in the first month on the job in Amsterdam, without being able to speak the language, I learned that they expected me to do the work of the main correspondent there.
OH NOS.
Any other young man would have had a blast on this assignment in the Netherlands and Amsterdam; Fatty bitches about it. But he ate Chinese food & a bagel for the first time at college, those were his highlights.
Bill Bulger. During the heyday of Jim’s crime spree.
Wow, that’s pretty wild. You almost forget he was once kind of admired.
Bill Bulger. During the heyday of Jim’s crime spree.
Wow, that’s pretty wild. You almost forget he was once kind of admired.
He started his speech with “Senator, I don’t recall…”
Bill Bulger. During the heyday of Jim’s crime spree.
Wow, that’s pretty wild. You almost forget he was once kind of admired.
“I still admire all 65″ of the little guy Suzy.” Zip, MY EYES!
I was perusing Bootleg Barnicle’s tweets the other day & couldn’t stop laughing…! They nail it.
the nba_anonymous instagram is a fantastic treasure trove of “holy shit, that guy!” I had NO idea this guy existed
McHale was probably afraid of hurting someone’s grandpa. Tom McMillen, later served in congress
I must have been too high to remember, whatever the fuck this is started 24 games for the Celtics in 96-97
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This reply was modified 8 months, 1 week ago by
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