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    Major Intangibles

    A spot to save all the Muzz & JF episodes, synopses, oral histories, images and what have you.

    Nothing will be saved. All will be lost. And our new onion-headed sad emoticon is unable to convey the depth of that loss. -10/22/25 (sic) Daily Thread


    Wait, what?


    Christ I can’t find the original video.

    His reaction is here. (watch the whole thing) But it doesn’t have the “shoot it! shoot it!” part. I thought it was in “A Basketball Legend” but it’s not. Lemme think, I’ll find it eventually.



    :wub:   :wub:

    Major Intangibles

    Series Co-Creator Joe Palmasano claims he came up with the idea that would become Muzz & JF much like the way Brandon Tartikoff brainstormed ‘Miami Vice’ from a two word memo; ‘MTV Cops’. Palmasano wrote three words, ‘Boston. Sports. Kojaks!’. This is how we re-discovered M&JF:

    02062, on 07 Dec 2011 – 12:16 PM, said:

    middlebury03.5, on 07 Dec 2011 – 12:23 PM, said:
    Do they still make spot-bilt coaches shoes?

    Creeper that helped coach our pop warner team busted out a fresh pair every season. Guy loved the things.


    humphrey, on 07 Dec 2011 – 12:48 PM, said:
    These shorts reminded me of something last night. Did anyone catch the end of the Celts’ Game 7 from 1984? It was well over 90 in the Garden and the shorts then were a lot shorter. In fact, the males they showed in and around the court looked like they were in a Boogie Nights Dress-Alike Contest (the Philip Seymour Hoffman character, of course).

    ChicoWalker, on 07 Dec 2011 – 12:57 PM, said:
    one of my favorite aspects of watching old celtics games. Seats now occupied by rich anjerks were once the spot where guys in the tightest t-shirts ever and Celtics painters caps could sit.

    NASCL, on 07 Dec 2011 – 1:08 PM, said:
    Went to that game (not on Simmmon’s father’s lap) and don’t remember it being unbearable. Game 5 in Boston was the the one during a heat wave.

    InThisTown, on 07 Dec 2011 – 1:08 PM, said:
    Bird hits that buzzer beater to close out the period in Game 5 84 and there’s a shot of a Guido with an open shirt and chains that is amazing.

    NASCL, on 07 Dec 2011 – 1:14 PM, said:
    Say it ain’t so.

    InThisTown, on 07 Dec 2011 – 2:32 PM, said:
    Start at about 20 seconds.

    Llllllllarry. Lllllllary.

    NASCL, on 07 Dec 2011 – 2:35 PM, said:
    Good God. Probably was at Joe Tecce’s before the game and the Scotch & Sirloin afterwards.

    One of you tech guys might want to save that as a screen grab.

    Marty Nopointe, on 07 Dec 2011 – 2:44 PM, said:

    avatar sized
    InThisTown, on 07 Dec 2011 – 2:46 PM, said:
    Thank you.

    Scott@PD, on 07 Dec 2011 – 2:59 PM, said:
    Jesus, Mary and Joseph. And what’s with the guy next to him? These guys cannot be together.

    Scott@PD, on 07 Dec 2011 – 3:08 PM, said:
    His buddy looks like a Peanut Butter and ‘Nana Sandwich-era Elvis impersonator. “We can’t go on together…”

    Major Intangibles, on 07 Dec 2011 – 3:10 PM, said:
    I think newsboy cap guy is sitting a row behind ‘four seconds..Shoot!’ guy.

    Scott@PD, on 07 Dec 2011 – 3:18 PM, said:
    I don’t care, they’re paired by history now. Anyway, doesn’t he seem like a peripheral character in one of those Brit Coms about a department store or something? Always running about, slipping on wet floors? I don’t know. To me, he’s the far more disturbing of the two.

    Major Intangibles, on 07 Dec 2011 – 3:25 PM, said:
    “Alan’s knocked over the table set for the Minister of Production’s visit! He’ll be here any moment!”

    Scott@PD, on 07 Dec 2011 – 3:50 PM, said:
    That is exactly right. :lol: :lol:   I’m in tears here.

    And his name is absolutely Alan.

    Frost Class Mark, on 07 Dec 2011 – 3:05 PM, said:

    The 1970s private detective team of Muzzarell & Jewface.

    Major Intangibles, on 07 Dec 2011 – 3:15 PM, said:
    I hope they had a cool car.

    InThisTown, on 07 Dec 2011 – 3:07 PM, said:
    It looks like Christopher Guest is playing him.

    Major Intangibles, on 07 Dec 2011 – 3:37 PM, said:
    From wiki-

    The pair’s AMC Gremlin ‘Auerbach’ was destroyed by a snowplow in the Season 3 “Blizzard of 78’s” episode.

    Frost Class Mark, on 07 Dec 2011 – 3:41 PM, said:
    Wasn’t there a Gremlin (or maybe a Hornet? Or a pinto?) with a Gucci interior?
    I know there was a Bill Blass edition Lincoln.

    Major Intangibles, on 07 Dec 2011 – 4:00 PM, said:
    Will McDonough had a cameo appearance in the episode where Muzz & JF team up with ‘Bitey’ Whulger to keep drugs out of Southie.

    Frost Class Mark, on 07 Dec 2011 – 4:06 PM, said:
    If I am not mistaken, Karen Black guested in that

    InThisTown, on 07 Dec 2011 – 4:09 PM, said:
    Season 5, when series co-star Carmine Danucci held out over creative differences and his character was briefly replaced by his Irish cousin Mickey. Ratings were less than stellar and eventually the network relented and allowed Carmine’s character to retain his famous catch phrase “Ehhhhh wassa matta with joooo?”

    Major Intangibles, on 07 Dec 2011 – 4:13 PM, said:
    Correct. It was also the last episode Muzzarell got to use his then-popular, ‘whadda you, retahhhded?’ catchphrase, due to complains from groups representing special needs individuals.
    edit:’complaints’ Wahdda’m I…

    InThisTown, on 07 Dec 2011 – 4:28 PM, said:
    This is wholly discredited. Everyone knows that he delivered it in the Christmas reunion show. J.F. was dressed as Santa Claus at the end and he wanted Muzz to sit on his lap.

    Major Intangibles, on 07 Dec 2011 – 4:28 PM, said:
    Playing Cousin Mickey? a young Lenny Clarke.

    Beaker, on 07 Dec 2011 – 4:31 PM, said:
    “Tonight’s episode: I Got Ya Sabbath Right HERE

    Major Intangibles, on 07 Dec 2011 – 4:32 PM, said:
    You can’t count the reunion show. Or the St. Elsewhere crossover episode.

    (I should try as hard at actual work, rather that constructing plotlines for an imaginary Boston detective show. )

    Marty Nopointe, on 07 Dec 2011 – 4:34 PM, said:
    wondering if “Muzzarell” was pronounced “Muzzarell” or some Sopranosesque “Mooseagoo”

    Kevin, on 07 Dec 2011 – 4:38 PM, said:
    Speaking of which, The Test Dream writeup today.
    Worst. Episode. Ever.

    Frost Class Mark, on 07 Dec 2011 – 4:41 PM, said:
    For my money, TV cop dramas come no more poignant than the Muzzarell’s Gupaline episode with Florence Stanley (aka Fish’s wife) playing Mama.

    Marty Nopointe, on 07 Dec 2011 – 4:44 PM, said:
    shame that their greatest fight scene was stolen by CHiPS

    Major Intangibles, on 07 Dec 2011 – 5:41 PM, said:
    Lifted blow-for-blow from the pilot; ‘Prosciutto to Kill’:-(

    Nothing will be saved. All will be lost. And our new onion-headed sad emoticon is unable to convey the depth of that loss. -10/22/25 (sic) Daily Thread


    I’m mesmerized by that photo of Kendall Square. Not even the Marriott yet.

    Major Intangibles

    Series Co-Creator Sheldon Turtletaub: “The first few episodes were a mess. We were a summer replacement, so we were using scripts we had pilfered from the slush pile of other shows, Cannon, McCloud, even Batman. We took the scripts, hastily re-wrote them to fit our needs without much thought as to continuity. So it was unclear early on if Muzzarell & Jewface were private investigators, Mass State Police, Boston Police Department, or what. But by episode seven or eight, Joey (Palmasano) and I has settled on they were assigned to the fictional ‘Important Crimes Squad’ of the BPD. The bones were there, mismatched partners, but both outsiders to the mostly Irish police fraternity, Muzz a bit of a gourmand and ladies man, JF the more rational of the pair, and of course, Boston sports. Celtics and the Bruins were playing in their respective Finals it felt like every other year. And it looked like the Red Sox and maybe even the Patriots were ready to make the leap, too. 

    ‘Major Intangibles’, on 08 Dec 2011 – 12:28 PM, said:
    Considering the local sports-based alternatives, I’ve come up with the first season’s episodes of FCM’s detectives Muzz & JF.
    (FYI, it was a summer 1975 replacement for the ‘Mannix’ slot on CBS, that’s why only 13 eps.)

    Prosciutto to Kill
    Shofar, So Good
    Garden Party
    Mazel Toughs
    Badda Bang-Bang
    Justice at Wholesale Prices
    Guido’s and Guidon’t
    Havlicek it Out, Parts 1 & 2
    Something’s Gefilte Fishy
    Espo-see Ya Later
    Our Pilgrim (Theatre) Forefathers
    Fa-La-La-La-La, Baccala

    Turtletaub- I really don’t recall much as to the stories of the first season. It would be nice if someone could fill in the plot and guest stars. I keep hoping some TV obsessed weirdo chanced to kinescope these episodes, or recorded them on one of those VTR rigs like Bob Crane. Poor Bobby; worked with him on an episode of ‘The Delphi Bureau’ back in ’72.

    Nothing will be saved. All will be lost. And our new onion-headed sad emoticon is unable to convey the depth of that loss. -10/22/25 (sic) Daily Thread

    Major Intangibles

    Joe Palmasano- We were all ready at the end of production that first season to strike the sets and call it a good half-year’s work, and have everyone go their separate ways. But something we hadn’t counted on happened: the Red Sox won the Pennant, and made it to the World Series. For a show with a basis in the Boston sports scene, you couldn’t buy that kind of publicity. So CBS extended us for another thirteen, and we’d start shooting, with the understanding that we’d be a replacement for whatever show faltered though we probably wouldn’t air until the calendar switched over to 1976. And that’s how it went when Anne Meara’s lady lawyer show went tits up. The writing that season also concerned itself with the local political angle, too, once we realized that’s part and parcel of Boston. 

    InThisTown on 08 December 2011 – 02:51 PM
    Season 2:

    S2 EP1 Lyric Little Pine Box – a Red Sox employee is found dead inside the left field wall.

    S2 EP2 Shadow of Gout – with Muzz laid up with an illness JF investigates a series of sexual assaults in the North End.

    S2 EP3 Probe, Alone – with JF celebrating the high holidays, Muzz stakes out the home of a gangster in Nahant.

    S2 EP4 Illegal Defense – A public defender is found murdered and the prime suspect works for the Celtics, putting Muzz and JF in a difficult situation.

    S2 EP5 Public Guardin’ – Suspended from the force, Muzz takes a job providing security for a local socialite. Until she’s murdered.

    Beaker, on 07 Dec 2011 – 4:31 PM

    S2 EP6 I Got Ya Sabbath Right HERE -(J.P.- A festive holiday episode. Probably.)

    InThisTown on 08 December 2011 – 02:51 PM

    S2 EP7 Walking In a Winter Hill Wonderland – Christmas is coming and so is a showdown with Somerville gangsters who are fixing greyhound races.

    Div on 10 December 2012 – 01:15 PM

    S2 EP8 Three Mel Kings Muzz and JF investigate the robbery of the toys for tots room at the Roxbury Community Center at the behest of a local activist. But is it possible he is responsible for the crime, or does he have a higher political goal in mind? Guest starring Lou Gossett Jr.

    InThisTown on 08 December 2011 – 02:51 PM

    S2 EP9 Numb as a Hack – A state employee is found drowned in icy Boston harbor. Everyone assumes it’s an accident. Everyone except Muzz and JF.
    Guest starring Kevin White.

    S2 EP10 Charleen on the MT, eh – a young woman is stabbed on the Green Line following a Bruins game and the main suspect is a Canadiens fan.

    S2 EP11 Beacon Kill – an intern turns up dead in the state house, a powerful politician is providing cover for his gangster brother.

    S2 EP12 Central Artery – A young woman is found stabbed to death under the expressway. Muzz has a visitor from his past.

    and lastly-

    S2 EP13 The Bicentennial Bandit – A lunatic costumed as Uncle Sam is on a crime spree. ICS is all hands on deck. Special Guest Starring Bruce Dern.

    Nothing will be saved. All will be lost. And our new onion-headed sad emoticon is unable to convey the depth of that loss. -10/22/25 (sic) Daily Thread

    Major Intangibles

    Shel Turtletaub- So about the time we were filming the Lou Gossett episode, we found out we were picked up for a third season starting fall 1976. A full run of 26 episodes. Between myself, Joe, and three or four other guys in the writers room, we started filling in the missing background.

    Joe Palmasano- Little things, like JF’s actual name. (laughs)

    ‘Kevin’, on 06 Feb 2013 – 2:00 PM, said:
    Shel Turtletaub -Look, I’m Jew who grew up in Brooklyn, okay? I’ve heard all the slurs. You name it, I’ve heard it.
    So I had no problem calling a character ‘Jewface’. It was in all the early scripts. You know, these racist Boston cops, that’s probably what they’d call the guy. But no, the suits go to Standards and Practices and come back with, “Absolutely not. You cannot call a character ‘Jewface’. “ They suggested Murry or Herschel. It just wasn’t the same. So we just started churning out the scripts with ‘JF’, while we were trying to pick a new name. And who knew, it just stuck!

    Major Intangibles on 06 February 2013 – 02:17 PM
    Joe Palmasano We eventually backronym’d the initials to be for ‘Jerome Fischbein’, once we realized we kinda needed a family name. But the whole ‘name that makes you have to be tough’ thing Shel dealt with was rolled into Muzz, “Francis Assisi Xavier Cabrini Muzzarell”, he had to learn to fight back at an early age, no doubt about that.

    ITT 08 February 2013 – 11:17 AM
    Lou Adler, (Special Consultant)- The Columbia people brought me in to take a look at the early pages and they were just a mess. There was a real ugliness in the way that the Irish and Italian characters used the “Jewface” epithet. I suggested they provide cover for these characters to use that kind of language by having the back story be that was a name he got from his family during his childhood, so it became kind of endearing. So the character of  (JF’s sister) Sharon was born.

    Shel Turtletaub- Also, we took advantage of the availability of college students willing to work for free! Oh, I mean ‘intern’ for ‘class credit’. It all worked out for everyone. And with the big local music scene, if an episode ran short, we could always have the boys out at some club as pretense to show one of the local acts. Again; win-win.

    Lou Adler- Sheldon honestly had no idea about the Boston music scene at that time in the 70’s. (rolls eyes)

    Marty Nopointe on 08 December 2011 – 04:32 PM

    Season 3
    S3 EP1 Castle Die-land – it’s not just the soft serve that is cold at Sullivans

    S3 EP2 School Busting – Muzz and JF attempt to stop drug dealers taking advantage of Boston’s new school busing rules to move drugs across the city

    S3 EP3 Self D-Fens – JF goes undercover in the seedy world of key jingling at the Fens
    guest star: Bob Gamere

    S3 EP4 Low Post Shooter – Muzzarell goes undercover as Lubach the Celtics new Lithuanian center after the visiting Pistons receive a death threat. As the boys are season ticket holders, Wick Wobey must go undercover courtside as Muzz so the killer isn’t tipped off. Muzz stops shooter but then shoots Laimbeer (Lanier?) in the leg “whadda you retahded, it’s just a flesh wound”

    ‘Rotillo’, on 09 Dec 2011 – 5:47 PM, said:
    S3 EP5 Spencer, Four Fires – A string of arsons leads the duo to a sleepy Central Mass. town where the local constabulary seems a little too eager to help. JF re-connects with an old flame. Sharon Gless co-stars.

    S3 EP6 Cleveland Circle Steamer – The local college football team lays an egg in the biggest game of the year. JF and Muzz are called in when the equipment manager is found floating in the Reservoir. G.D. Spradlin guest stars.

    Marty Nopointe on 08 December 2011 – 04:32 PM
    S3 EP7 Kelly’s Roast Beef – At a stag party, the boys discover a childhood friend of JF has been abducted into the world of porn and must save her. guest star: Mary Crosby as Kelly

    S3 EP8 Stop and Shop and Die – JF and Muzzarell must go undercover as grocery store baggers to discover who is murdering bread delivery men, episode sets record for most times Muzz delivers his “whadda you retahded” catchphrase all but 7 references directed at JF’s undercover character

    S3 EP9 Frog Pond – Over the boys objections their Captain forces them to investigate a series of drowned Canadiens fans. Determined to be suicide.

    S3 EP10 A Very Muzz Christmas – Muzz teaches JF the meaning of Christmas

    Major Intangibles on 08 December 2011 – 04:48 PM in General Discussion
    Followed by
    S3 EP11 Feast of the Seven Fischbeins, a Hannukah-themed episode where someone is hijacking heating oil trucks.

    ‘Major Intangibles’, on 14 Dec 2011 – 12:28 PM, said:
    S3 EP12 First Night/Last Night – A death at a city New Year’s Eve event finds Muzz & JF unwillingly teamed with unpleasant detectives Yarmouth and Sumner.

    Marty Nopointe on 08 December 2011 – 04:32 PM
    S3 EP13 FiBeanes’ Basement – crossover attempt, JF’s cousin Beanes (Tom Poston) attempts to open a department store named Beanes of Boston. The boys must discover who is breaking in and placing dead bodies in place of the mannequins. Lowest rated of all Muzz&JF episodes

    ‘Rotillo’, on 09 Dec 2011 – 5:47 PM, said:
    S3 EP14 A Fistful of Challah – The murder of a local deli owner with ties to an anti-PLO group brings JF And Muzz to Brookline. Part 1 of 2.

    S3 EP15 Leggo My Necco (or For a Few Challahs More, No Big Whoop)- The case turns more volatile as an Arab worker turns up dead at a Cambridge candy factory. The case take the guys all the way to the Middle East….in Central Square.

    S3 EP16 Battle, Star, Fanatica – The reclusive lead guitarist of a local rock band turns up dead, and a groupie is the prime suspect. Muzz goes undercover as a roadie to smoke out the killer.

    S3 EP17 Johns, Butchers, Taxis – A pair of serial killers is targeting local working girls and their clientele. A young but suprisingly crusty liveryman is the only witness.

    S3 EP18 Ken Doll Square – A male escort ODs in a Cambridge hotel room, and the trail leads right to a US Congressman. Dan Hedaya guest stars.

    S3 EP19 Fenway, Parked – JF and Muzz are stuck in the car on a stakeout. JF confesses a shocking secret to his partner.

    Marty Nopointe on 08 December 2011 – 04:32 PM
    S3 EP20 Battle of the Bands and GANGS – Muzz and JF go undercover at a battle of the bands to discover who is leading the gangs in the Combat Zone.
    special guest: Mission of Burma

    ‘Major Intangibles’, on 14 Dec 2011 – 12:28 PM, said:
    S3 EP21 May Air Force Two Be With You – A last minute assignment to guard the Vice-Presidential aircraft (diverted to Logan) disrupts the pair’s plans to see that new sci-fi movie everyone is talking about…or does it?

    ‘Rotillo’, on 09 Dec 2011 – 5:47 PM, said:
    S3 EP22 Brighton Lately – JF’s old flame is back with a favor to ask. Muzz, worried for his partner, digs into the woman’s background.

    ‘Major Intangibles’, on 14 Dec 2011 – 12:28 PM, said:
    S3 EP23 Cheese it! The Cops! – Framed for stealing the proceeds of a boxing exhibition featuring members of the ’76 Olympic team, (appearing as themselves) our heroes go on the lam. First of a four part story arc.

    S3 EP24 Shredded Cheese & Crumbled Matzah – Internal Affairs Lieutenant Skellig runs down the case against Muzz and JF, using clips from previous episodes.

    S3 EP25 Grilled Cheese – Muzz turns himself in to protect his family, JF continues working the case.

    S3 EP26 The Cheese Stands Alone, and I Stand With Him – In the conclusion, JF must find proof that Yarmouth & Sumner were the real culprits, before they can get to a jailed Muzzarell.

    Nothing will be saved. All will be lost. And our new onion-headed sad emoticon is unable to convey the depth of that loss. -10/22/25 (sic) Daily Thread

    Major Intangibles






    Nothing will be saved. All will be lost. And our new onion-headed sad emoticon is unable to convey the depth of that loss. -10/22/25 (sic) Daily Thread

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